Last night, my roommate and I went to a free Murder Mystery interactive performance at the Tenement Museum, located on Orchard St. in the Lower East Side. Even though the groups where HUGE and we were rushed through the investigation and in declaring who the murderer was (…mainly, by the murderer running in, brandishing a leather knife and screaming that yes, he’d done it), it was a great program, a ton of fun, and really did a great job in immersing you in the period and flavor of the Lower East Side of the 1870’s.

( Some more details of the ‘case’ below… )

However, last night I also realized how long it’s been since I’ve walking around lower Manhattan. It used to be that getting me to go above Union Square was a rare event indeed, but since my move to Queens that has definitely flipped, and much to my chagrin.

And unexpected pleasure was taking the M train, of all things. Took the M train into Manhattan rather than the usual F, and enjoyed ever moment of it. Why? Because in Queens, the M is elevated, giving a body with two eyes and a less jaded soul the opportunity to gaze upon the New York that happens above street level; the fire escape hideaways, the tree tops and the rooftop gardens. Also, there’s the view of Manhattan in all its glory as you cross the Williamsburg Bridge. It may be a bit of a bother, but methinks I’ll have to take the M more often.

In other news and thanks to fark.com, I am now in the know about an AMAZING blog, Scouting NY. …Anyone else want to write and film a sketch for the last 4 phone booths in NYC?

Talking about phone booths, I’m growing spoiled by working in an historic building. I’m DYING to film something using the 3 wooden phone booths we have at my work place; old-fashioned, claustrophobic, and with a handy light that goes on when you close the door. I have an idea for them, now I just need the balls to ask those in the know if I AM allowed to do some filming in the building, or if they would make me pay as it would be for a sketch thingie.

Hrum…

*Lady!Boss is snarking with Token!Brit, refusing to give him a roll of gaffers tape. I sidle over, handing him the tape that was on my desk. Lady!Boss glares*

Lady!Boss: You’re not suppose to just GIVE him gaffer’s tape when I’ve giving him a hard time about giving him gaffer’s tape!
Me: But…he gave me cake. I had to.
Lady!Boss: He’s gay!
Me: But he gave me cake!
Lady!Boss: *pouting* You don’t love me anymore!
Me: I only used him for his cake! It’s you I love!
Lady!Boss: That’s so romantic!...you cheating bitch.

I’m ruined guys. Forever ruined for all other professionally minded, appropriate acting, anti-harassment PC work places.

RUINED.

*Me and neo_ninja, finally getting around to beating the game Dead Space after a YEAR LONG HIATUS*

neo_ninja: I like my ammo like I like my women.

Me: Readily Available.

*FIST BUMP OF 12-YEAR (?) BROMANCE*

Ladies and Gentlemen (…or maybe just ladies, IDK); the poll for the Great
ONTD_ST Meet Up 2:
TOS Marathon
'No School Like Old School'
has been open long enough.

There's a lot of SUPER IMPORTANT MEET UP INFORMATION BELOW THE CUT, so heads up, pay attention, read the fine print, etc etc.

EDIT 7/8: I'VE LISTED THE TEAMS, WHO'S ON WHICH, AND WHO'S OFFERED TO BRING WHAT (AND WHAT STILL NEEDS CLAIMING). GO GO GO!

( THE RESULTS AND PLANS FOR THAT EVENING, IF YOU PLEASE: )
SOOOOOOOOOOOO…KIRK NEEDS YOU!


TO DO YOUR PART!

AND SPREAD THE WORD TO YOUR MOTHAS EQUALLY GEEKTASTIC F-LISTS, THE MORE THE MERRIER.

IF YOU HAVE JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS WEE LITTLE SOIREE INTO THE FANNISH, DON'T PANIC, OF COURSE YOU CAN COME, MORE THE MERRIER, ETC ETC ETC.

BE SURE TO KEEP TABS ON THIS ENTRY, FOR LAST MINUTE UPDATES/ANNOUNCEMENTS/PLAN CHANGES.

AND REMEMBER GUYS—THE BOSTON ONTD_ST MEET UP IS THE SAME DAY AS OURS. ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO LET BOSTON OUT GQ US?* OR ARE WE BOLDY GONNA GO THERE SO MUCH HARDER, FASTER, STRONGER THAT WARP ELEVEN WILL CRY IN SHAME??

MAKE. IT. SO.


*BUT SERIOUSLY, I LUV YOU, BOSTON. YOU AND THE PHALLIC TOMBSTONE** YOU GAVE JOHN HANCOCK.

**NO, REALLY.

We’ve been running around like mad since yesterday, trying to prepare the Moose Room (aptly names, for there are 7 moose heads hanging the walls in that room) for The Board Meeting. You know, one of those these that the people who tell you how to run the place come in, listen to what you have to say, and then tell you what to do? YEA. THAT.

Which means it has to be PERFECT.

So, the Moose Room was PERFECT. Wires hidden away, papers, cups pencils lined up, chairs in order, tables aligned with the fireplace, the projector screen, and the planets. We were READY for 4 pm.

However, Lady Boss and I know how things roll here. Shit Happens. And so, we sat back, and waited for the Shoe to Drop.

At 2:45 pm, M’Lady Sovereign Ruler Whose Word is Justice and Law decided that the Moose Room, which had two balcony windows overlooking the Drill Hall, the Drill Hall being where an immense stage set up is currently being constructed—rather nosily, might I add!—was Too Noisy.

A Masterfully Fair Assessment, to be Fair.

NOT THE SORT OF THING YOU WANT TO HEAR 45 MINUTES BEFORE THE BOARD MEMBERS SHOW UP.

So, we had 45 minutes to move EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING, to the conference room across the hall.

THIS IS AN ENTIRELY ACCURATE RECREATION OF THE LOOK THAT WAS ON MY FACE:



Me: So, looks like instead of the shoe falling on us, we got the boot up the ass instead.
Lady Boss: Boot? This isn’t a Boot. This is an 8 inch spike heel with 2 inch platform up the ass. This is dominatrix shit.
Me: *Is dying from two parts laughter, 1 part hysterics from Shadow of Doom*
Lady Boss: Two words, Antonella. Two Words! *as she swoops out of the office door and down the hallway* I. QUIT.

No time like the present for another meetup to watch TOS episodes from seasons 1 and 2, what? After all, these meetings don't plan themselves!

ET AL WHO CAME TO THE LAST ONE/WANTED TO COME BUT COULDN'T: Help me pimp the HELL out of this.

OH, and I know I said to chose 2 episodes each but...eh, that's way to hard. Just pick your favorites/ones your most interested in and try to keep it under like, 3-4 each?

EDIT 7/4: THE RESULTS ARE IN, AND POSTED HERE. GO THERE FOR THE MEET UP DETAILS, AND TO RSVP.

( EPIC MEET UP POLL UNDER CUT. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW EPIC IT IS. )

KARL URBAN THANKS YOU FOR YOUR TIME

When I was in catholic school (kindergarten to 8th grade) I was One of a Triumvirate (myself, Greg and Stephen) that the teachers and priests SWORE would join the catholic holy orders one day.

Well--

Today I attended the ordination of Greg—the eldest of that triumvirate of YOU-WILL-TAKE-THE CATHOLIC-VOW-OF-HOLY ORDERS!

Greg is as of today, A CATHOLIC PRIEST.

Stephen is already a Brother, and is teaching at Chaminade High School, an all boy's catholic school in Mineola.

And myself?

…Two out of three ain't bad for the Catholic church?

Seriously, tonight I drank mightily and would have dropped my panties for my beer pong partner who NOT ONLY knew details of French-written Arthurian legend, but who knew Norse history (aka, what an "ting" was) and could quote shit from Hemingway AND who could discuss AT LENGTH King Alfred and who was joyously intrigued by my quotating and explicating of G.K Chesterton's "The Ballad of the White Horse") and who ALSO WAS ABLE TO QUOTE WODEHOUSE AND HAD GREAT AFFECTION FOR HUGH LAURIE AND STEPHEN FRY AS SKETCH COMEDIANS AND KNEW THEY WERE PART OF THE CAMBRIDGE FOOTLIGHTS!—

BE STILL MY FUCKING BEATING HEART!!!

Oh, and strangest part of all?

HE'S THE MOTHERFUCKING BROTHER OF A BOY WHO WAS IN MY ELEMENTERY/MIDDLE SCHOOL, WHOM I AM STILL FRIENDS WITH.

HOLY. MOTHERFUCKING. SHIT.

Once I read a book that SWORE that a person, if they followed the medieval model of looking for their perfect mate in a 30 mile radius (aka, walking distance) of where they were born, that they would find it.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmm…hello? I would like to subscribe to that newsletter?

I WOULD HAVE THIS CHAP'S* BABIES WERE HE WILLING TO STICK AROUND.

NO. LIE.


*AND I MEAN CHAP IN THAT HE QUOTED WODEHOUSE AND WE "WHAT HO/RIGHT HO/BALLY"'ED EACH OTHER SEVERAL TIMES THIS EVENING! AND HE APPROVED OF MY REASON FOR SEEINGMYSELF AS A CHAP WITH SAPPHIC TENDENCIES.

MORNING AFTER EDIT:...I am impressed by how coherently I can still write while three sheets to the wind. I mean, it's still EMBARRASSING the shit I'll post while drunk, but at least it's legible?

Also--ouch, uncontrollable drunken caps-locking much?

Just go. Throw your name down on this. 'Cause in my book, competency should trump which side of the fence you like to get it on with/grow old with/float your boat with every time.

And it should be in your book too, bookmarked under "COMMON FUCKING SENSE".

SO GO FORTH AND TELL THE US ARMY THAT NO REALLY, TEH GAY ISN'T CATCHING.

I just had one of those quintessentially New York life experiences, where I spend 10 minutes in the break room discussing with two of our security guards which are the best pizza places in a 5 block radius of our work place.

...there are more pizza places in that radius then you'd think.

(.....and I've tried the goods of at least 5 of them)

HEY. DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK. IN NEW YORK, PIZZA IS SRS BIZNESS.

*FLAIL!*

GUYS! WHAT I OVERHEARD IN NEW YORK WAS FINALLY POSTED AT OVERHEARDINNEWYORK.COM!!!

Woman in alpine hat to another: I was not about to drag your half-conscious ass around a concentration camp!

--Zum Schneider German Restaurant/Bar

Overheard by: Nella

I'd totally forgotten all about having posted this too--which really speaks to how long ago I posted, because I had to post this using someone's I-phone while I was 3-LITRES OF GOOD GERMAN BEER IN.

Because sometimes, regardless of how much German beer you've consumed, you HAVE to go the extra mile. Needs of the many and all that jazz.

PEOPLE ARE SHIPPING THE NOSTALGIA CHICK AND BFF NELLA*. IT'S ON TVTROPES.COM, LOOKIT!!:


"I can't be the only one who ships the Nostalgia Chick and her BFF Nella, right?'

*Well, the first time this troper first stumbled upon the site and watched the Nostalgia Chick's review of Labyrinth, her first thought was that Lindsey and Nella were a couple. Now she's just confused."
SEE! Scroll to 'Shipping'!



I'M...I'M BEING FEMSLASHED. WITH MY ETERNAL ROOMMATE. MY LULZ OVER THIS IS BOTTOMLESS. IT WAS THE APRON IN THE LABYRINTH REVIEW, WASN'T IT? AND MY OFFERING HER A VARIETY OF PHALLIC EUPHEMISMS, WASN'T IT?

OUR LOVE IS SO...BELEAGUERED.



Wow, Internet, just...WOW. Thank you for doing EXACTLY what I half expected you to do deep in the darkest part of my soul**, and yet somehow, STILL didn't see coming.


Lindsay's already assured me I can look forward to fanart in the near future, as supposedly, this is how these things ROLL.

I just know they won't get my hips right.




*AKA me.

**The part that found hobbit porn at FAR FAR too tender an age.

THIS IS THE ONLY CONTEXT YOU GET BITCH.

Nella's New Goals In Life:

1) be a hobbit
2) Learn to not only sing, but tell people to fuck off.
3) become new sex symbol
4) Come back fucking crazy like Judy Garland on acid

etc etc etc

In the hierarchy of my work place, it goes:

The President AKA M’Lady Sovereign Ruler Whose Word is Justice and Law
My Boss’s boss AKA the Captain (also known as Father. You’ll see why.)
My boss AKA Lady Boss, The Crazy Bitch (which I say to her face, BTW. What?? She encourages it! I’m merely bowing to her will!)

~*~

I explain all this because Lady Boss and I spend WAAAAY too much time talking in childish, Jane-Austen-character-esque voices, discussing how Father (aka, the Captain) is either pleased or displeased.

Lady Boss (in creepy, Jane-Austen girl voice): Father is pleased with us again.
Me (ditto): Indeed, I was so frightened we would end the week poorly, dear. He was ever so displeased when that ex-employee and your friend Kirk* showed up.
Lady Boss (same): It is not as if he were my SUITOR.
Me (same): It was almost like that time he was most displeased by [Our Token Brit]. I was ever so frightened then.
Lady Boss: Yes, Ever So.
Me: But Father is pleased again, so all is well.
Lady Boss: Oh Joy!

…And so on and so forth. My work place? Strange and a little creepifying to outsiders?

I’m quite certain I have no idea what you’re talking about.

In other news, M’Lady Sovereign Ruler Whose Word Is Justice and Law has decreed that our new break room vinyl tile shall be CHERRY RED. As she has spoken and Her Word Is Justice and Law, I shall make it so.

I mean, we only need these tiles by Wednesday. That’s PLENTY of time!

(is so not looking forward to the tile deadline nightmares she just knows she’s going to have)



*YES, YES HIS NAME WAS KIRK I NEARLY DIED HE WAS SUCH A FIERCE BITCH

Tiles. Or specifically, researching floor tiles for a new break room at work, when you haven't been told what color or size tile is wanted, except that they sorta kinda figure vinyl tiles will work. AND I don't even know what sort of aesthetic they're looking for. Honestly, all I want to do is run to Home Depot and try to get my hands on a ton of samples so I have at least SOMETHING to show the president, so she can decree what look she deems classy enough for us, thereby narrowing this search down by like, A TON.

BLEH. I hate shopping for home decor. Isn't that what the womenfolk are for? Myself excluded?



AND COULD SOMEONE PLEASE TELL THIS DAMN RAIN TO GIVE IT A DAMN BREAK ALREADY???? SURELY, SURELY THERE IS ANOTHER STATE IN THIS DAMNABLE UNION THAT NEEDS THIS RAIN MORE THAN WE DO.

Just....YES.



In other news...can today be over? Like, two hours ago? The way I've been running up and down the stairs, like hell I'm going to try out a new gym today. Self-inflicted pain and suffering in the name of personal betterment is what TUESDAYS are for.

I've made it to Friday.

This is my reward



HAPPY FRIDAY, GUYS!!!

Seriously, I had to scan this bulb to get an image of it for an order (cause, the HELL sort of light bulb is that?) and just looking at it makes me feel a little dirty.



I don't know how I'm going to survive if I ever leave here. Seriously. I don't know how I'll live with myself if I go to work somewhere else, and I can no longer tell my boss to "back the shit down, you crazy bitch" in those exact words. Or can no longer drop the f-bomb. Or make generally lewd and catty comments with the Token Brit. Or be able to wear jeans and sneakers to work.

In other news...I've been recognized as BFF Nella from the Nostalgia Chick videos. Twice. In the same day. I...really wasn't expecting that so soon, internet. I mean...I'm just the sidekick!

Eh, I'll just go with being amused by it though. Amused, and slightly gobsmacked.

On a final note, I can't think of a good caption for the icon used in this post. Any suggestions? DEFOREST KELLEY NEEDS SOME TEXTIN' TO GO WITH THAT SEXIN'.

So, while I continue to BEAT MY HEAD AGAINST THE STUPID FAIL OF YOUTUBE in my attempt to upload these vids from last night, let's have ourselves a post-meet up friending meme!

ONTD_STARTREK NYC MEET UP FRIENDING MEME



If you were at the ONTD_Startrek NYC Meet Up last night (or, hell, just really, really wish you had been) comment here! Give us your name, who you were, what was the most GQ part of the evening, and if you want to do it again!


I'm trying to get a recap post up on ONTD_Startrek tonight, with pics and vid, but...*SHAKES FIST AT YOUTUBE*. I may just end up posting it to imeem instead, or something. Meh.

Stay tuned! And comment below!!!

STAR TREK CORSETRY OUTFITS.

...I'd say something else, but...whatever. I think they speak for themselves.

I had a time panic today when I arrived at work. I'd wandered into the breakroom for my customary cuppa Joe, and my sister-in-geekery asked me how my Wednesday was going so far.

Commence Acute Temporal Discomfort. ‘But today’s Thursday!’ I thought to myself, panic rising in my chest. ‘Or, I thought it was Thursday, maybe it isn’t Thursday, maybe I was just HOPING it was Thursday because then I would be one day closer to Friday, and thereby one day closer to Saturday! Maybe it IS actually Wednesday. Maybe I accidentally flew around the sun again, tripped head first into an anomaly when I wasn’t looking, and went back a day. But I didn’t WANT another Wednesday, I wanted THURSDAY, I want this week to be over, oh god am I REALLY going to have to live through Wednesday AGAIN?'

Luckily, when I returned to my desk, I discovered that it was, in fact, Thursday. Time and Space—though having not been disrupted in the first place--had been restored. But for a brief moment, the endless possibilities of a world where things were not as they should be entered my mind.

Now, if my boss had showed up to work in gold lame and a goatee, then I’d REALLY have something to worry about.